rantings and more rantings...

2007-01-16T04:45:00.000-08:00

all i want is for you to be happy
and take this moment to make you my family
and finally you have found something perfect
and finally you have found.. :)

midterms

2007-01-16T04:39:00.000-08:00

midterms na. ang saya. :)

On Children

2006-12-29T05:08:00.000-08:00

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your childrenas living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

-Kahlil Gibran

Atenista ka ba?

2006-12-29T04:45:00.000-08:00

Got this from Friendster! After filling this out, I realized how much I missed college.
So here’s the Ateneo survey thing…

What I did in Ateneo:
X eat at Manang’s —
X learn the alma mater song — "Mary for you...."
( ) get on the dean’s list
( ) lie down and sleep on a bench along EDSA walk
( ) be a TNT!
X jog around the campus in the evening - with RR!
X visit the art gallery
X know at least one xerox lady, manong, or technician by name
X get a Jesuit for a teacher — (Fr. David-the shit will hit the fan! and Fr. Magadia, my ultimate college crush!)
X itch from higad bites
( ) have gotten an F in something
( ) have taken a crap in school
X watch a La Salle vs. Ateneo UAAP game —
X give a powerpoint presentation —
X study in the Caf Upstairs — Of course naabutan ko caf up!
X watch a T.A. play
X sit on the SEC ledge and watch the stars —
() eat in Full House, ( ) Martha’s Kitchen, and X Ken Afford
X sleep in the lib — (at kumain ng M&Ms sa lib, na nahulog, buti na lang wala pang security cams that time!
( ) visit Mr. San Andres
X go to the chapel
() gotten a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers in the middle of the quad
X cut class with your block to watch a movie with barkada or org mates
X sign up for those institutional (i.e. difficult but brilliant) teachers: Ferriols, Dacanay, David, Manacsa, Ang, Escaler, Arcilla, Totanes, and many others
X go to CERSA night
X tried siomai rice — (P15-20 bucks for 3 pieces of siomai and plain rice from the COOP. Student-friendly, I loved it!)
() learn how to smoke
X fall in love
X actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib
() play cards during your free time — (Tong-its, Pusoy Dos, Tarot, Hulaan, etc.)
X dress in business attire — (during presentations, dates after class)
X learn to stay awake for more than 24 hours straight —
( ) have gotten side comments from ASSOC —
( ) take Saturday classes
X go to your immersion
X eat Food for Thought sandwiches
X get a boyfriend/girlfriend
X take time to read the vandalism in the CR doors
( ) watch “Minsan Lang Sila Bata” and “Macho Dancer” for class
X do a last minute paper
X have spent a lot for 1×1 ID pictures
X get exempted from final exams
X attend a college mass
( ) promise to quit smoking
( ) play hide-and-seek in the mini-forest — (There’s a mini forest?)
X know where the best restrooms are on campus — (CTC!)
X join an org (assembly!)
X allow yourself to make mistakes
X take summer classes —
X admire the sacred heart statue in the evening
X make a video for a project
X have a crush on a teacher (si Fr Magadia! - my lines if ever siya magkasal sa kin:
Fr. Magadia: You may kiss the bride.
Me: Father, may the bride kiss you first?
( ) attend a Jesuit retreat (a must for everyone)
( ) have gotten a parking ticket
X come to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes — (pambahay and pajamas!)
X learn how to use the Bayantel pay phones
X participate in school activities
( ) catch the Blue Babble Battalion tryouts
X date an Atenean
X ride a tricycle on campus
X find a tambayan (COLAYCO, SS foyer and EDSA) — (um lib?)
X admire the marikina valley at night
X go drinking along Katipunan
( ) learn how to beg for a higher grade
X use your cuts wisely — (It’s all about pacing.)
X volunteer to be class beadle (miss ko na to!)
( ) had the worst lottery schedule for reg
X admire the trees on campus
X have forgotten about your free cut and gone to that class
X eat in the ISO canteen
X be active in your org
( ) have signed up on an ACP class just because the girl or guy u like signed up for it
X get as many application forms you can during job fair
X learn how to cram
( ) sell tickets (or watch) an org-sponsored movie premiere
X save money to Xerox all of your seatmate’s notes
( ) accidentally seen a make-out session
X check out the Meron Lagoon and Lambingan Bridge
( ) dozed off in class in Bel right after a class in CTC/SOM/Comm. Bldg or vice-versa
X learn how to work with groupmates from hell
( ) perfect the art of parking on campus
————-

finals

2006-10-06T04:05:00.000-07:00

finals na.
have to cram.
and save the only thing
that i have

for my angel

2006-08-04T21:46:00.000-07:00

there are a lot of stuff that i want to tell you.. but everything else is just a fleck of dust when compared to your safety so please be brave okay? be brave and safe.

:(

2006-06-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

im sorry. my fault.

from chicklit

2006-05-26T22:02:00.000-07:00

"I don't want someone to care for me just because of guilt and not because of love.."

happy birthday pi

2006-05-26T21:59:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to my former roomie ang super-sexy na si pierre angelie. hihihi. a year older hopefully a year wiser. pagbutihin ang mga one-liners like "di ako buntis, mataba lang ako!"

for my baby

2006-05-20T05:26:00.000-07:00

hi. please be brave because i'm trying my best to be brave for you..

grabeh the day that was

2006-05-10T08:07:00.000-07:00

spent the day with pierre. grabeh. hihihi. it was full of surprises such as strangers suddenly talking and laughing with you. nakakaloka.

big prob

2006-05-07T06:35:00.000-07:00

that im close to cracking up. one thing that love about you is that you seem to be always in control. please be strong for both of us. coz i just realized that my brillian plan was not so brilliant after all.

law school theme songs

2006-05-03T06:38:00.000-07:00

himala,
kasalanan bang
humiling ako sa langit
ng isang himala?

---------

i did my best, but i guess my best wasn't good enough

-------

bye bye na
aalis ka na
-------

uso pa rin pala ang himala.
thank you Lord, thank you for this other chance, for my family and friends who supported me during my "quit-quittan" days.

it used to be for you

2006-05-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who dies,
the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

-----

but not anymore, kasi i have a reason to love you..and I don't think I can go on not loving you

judgment day

2006-05-01T06:30:00.000-07:00

may 3 is just around the corner. wah. sana uso pa rin ang himala..

laptop prob

2006-05-01T06:26:00.000-07:00

the dakilang exboybs went to check my pc and laptop yesterday..

exboyps: wala naman problema laptop mo. may worm lang, and di ko siya kayang tanggalin. dalhin mo sa shop.

hmmmm

waah

2006-04-27T06:05:00.000-07:00

there are rumors circulating around that a number of people got a grade below 60 for fr. b's finals.... waaaaaaahh.. father, have mercy................ wala bang vow of generosity ang mga heswita?

convo

2006-04-26T06:09:00.000-07:00

lea: o ikaw, tama na ang panganay ha.............be good, if you can't be good, be safe..
friend: lagi naman akong safe.
lea: my dear, mahal ang child support.
friend: aba, binigyan na nga ng magandang lahi, gusto pa ng suporta.

congrats

2006-04-25T08:55:00.000-07:00

ryan andres.. congrats dude, sana mapang-abot tayo sa rockwell.. ako naman pagdasal mo..

:)

2006-04-24T07:02:00.000-07:00

wala lang. Had a row with my mom earlier but still I'm quite happy today..kasi....ryan made it to lawskul.. hihihi. karma mo to dude. and thanks for the mushy message. don't worry, di naman ako nagbibilang..

for lack of better things to post

2006-04-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

Ten random things about me:
1. I love Chinese food
2. certified bookworm
3. Extremely loyal and kunsintidora to my friends
4. I think I am good at keeping secrets.
5. If ever I spilled one, you bet I did it deliberately.
6. I love anything that has chocolate.
7. Health conscious but not a gym buff (atleast not anymore)
8. I don't like watching TV
9. I schedule my crying sessions
10. I love eccentric people

Nine ways to win my heart
1. Be smart. Kahit hindi matalino or from a good school basta smart and may diskarte
2. Sensible kausap. Alangan naman magtitigan na lang tayo di ba?
3. Be honest. Given a choice, okay lang na di loyal basta honest. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
4. Respect me and other people. Someone who can accept the different views and lifestyles of others.
5. Make me laugh. This is not that difficult actually.
6. Don't put your best foot forward. I want someone whom I can accept and love as a whole. Sorry package deal po ito. I want to know the real you: what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what fields you excel in, even your imperfections. Ikaw na buong ikaw, hindi ang piling aspeto lang ng pagkatao mo.
7. Don't be too mushy. It is enough to say I love you once. Next time, show it through words. (minsan aminado ako, mushy din ako)
8. Be there for me when I am down.
9. Know what I feel and think even if I am not saying anything.

Eight things i wanna do before i die:
1. Learn how to bike
2. Learn how to drive.
3. Raise a child.
4. Show my mom how grateful I am for her sacrfices for us.
5. Join the JVP
6. Spend another day at Cribs
7. Propose marriage to Fr. Mags. lol
8. Spend a day at the Ateneo

Seven things that annoy me:
1. Liars, especially when they do not have to do so.
2. Homophobic
3. Backstabbers
4. Crabs
5. People who don't say what they mean and mean what they say.
6. People who hate seing other people happy.
7. People who want to pull others down.

Six things i wish for myself:
1. A new laptop
2. Cellphone
3. Sim replacement
4. boytoy (joke!!).. sige na nga peace of mind na lang
5. See that my child would be okay even after I die.
6. To be able to give more love and understanding to other people

Five things i'm afraid of:
1. May 3. Need to say more?
2. Ryan's interview result.
3. Being unable to fight loneliness
4. Being bitter
5. Being unable to see how wonderful the world is.

Four of my favorite songs:
1. Waiting in vain
2. Breakfast at tyffany's
3. Ikaw pa rin pala
4. The way you look tonight
5. Sembreak

Two other things i do everyday
1. Kumain
2. Dream

Who I want to see right now:
1. hmmmmmmmmmm.....

a public apology

2006-04-23T05:59:00.000-07:00

para kay RYAN:
I am sorry for everything, for nagging you and for trying to run your life for you. Sabi ko sa yo minsan feeling ko ako nanay mo. Goodluck tomorrow dude.... goodluck.. I am constantly praying for your future. Sorry talaga..

Mangyari Lamang

2006-04-22T07:05:00.000-07:00

Mangyari Lamang
ni Ginoong Bobby Gueverra, guro ng Teolohiya sa Ateneo de Manila University

Mangyari lamang ay tumayo ang mga nagmahal
nang makita ng lahat ang mukha ng pag- ibig.
Ipamalas ang tamis ng malalim na pagkakaunawaan
sa mga malabo ang paningin.
Mangyari lamang ay tumayo rin ang mga nagmahal at nasawi
nang makita ng lahat ang mga sugat ng isang bayani.
Ipadama ang pait ng kabiguan habang ipinagbubunyi
ang walang katulad na kagitingan ng isang nagtaya.
Mangyari lamang ay tumayo ang mga nangangambang magmahal
nang makita ng lahat ang kilos ng isang bata.
Ipamalas ang katapatan ng damdamin na pilit ikinukubli
ng pusong lumaki sa mga engkanto at diwata.

Mangyari lamang ay tumayo ang mga nagmahal,
minahal at iniwan ngunit handa pa ring magmahal
nang makita ng lahat ang yaman ng karanasan.
Ipamalas ang katotohanang nasaksihan
nang maging makahulugan ang mga paghagulgol sa dilim.

At sa mga nananatiling nakaupo mangyari lamang
ay dahan- dahang tumalilispapalabas sa nakangangang pinto.
Umuwi na kayo at sumbatan ang mga magulang
na nagpalaki ng isang halimaw!
At sa lahat ng naiwang nakatayo mangyari lamang
ay hagkan ang isa't isa at yakapin ang mga sugatan.
Mabuhay tayong lahat na nagsisikap na makabalik sa ating pinagmulan!
Manatiling masaya at higit sa lahat magpatuloy sa pagmamahal.

rantings

2006-04-22T06:48:00.000-07:00

I hate you.
If there is one thing that I really loved about you, it is your desire to be different and your constant struggle to do what you want. But then, it backfired. I wanted to understand you. Kahit di nga kita maintindihan, minsan iniintindi na lang kita. Kaso, iba na to. We are talking about your future here. And I feel as if I am the only one who cares. Oh well.

emo session

2006-04-17T23:49:00.000-07:00

Love Sonnet XVII
I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose,
topazor arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love,
darkly in my bodylives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving but this,
in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

Pablo Neruda

MISMO

to wansi

2006-04-07T03:46:00.000-07:00

Law school has been a tough one.
Thanks for making it bearable..
We are so diverse and yet we managed to help each other out..
Hope we're still intact next sem...
But when worse comes to worse
Isama nyo na lang ako sa mga pangarap nyo..
Salamat sa lahat...

tunay na pag-asa

2006-04-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

ang tunay na pag-asa ay ang pag-asa sa isang hindi mo maaaring asahan. Parang law school. Pero sana uso pa rin ang himala. I did my best. And it is now too late for anything else.

obli obli obli

2006-03-27T06:52:00.000-08:00

isang malaking kalokohan ang oblicon. I think I flunked the test big time. 20 point question ay isang malaking sablay.
God I did my best. I studied hard for that test. I need good grades this sem..
Sana uso pa rin ang himala sa law school

quote of the day

2006-03-18T17:35:00.000-08:00

from a friend:
"Di pala totoo ang humanap ka ng panget at ibigin mong tunay..."

finals

2006-03-18T17:27:00.001-08:00

finals is just around the corner. Waah. Sana I would be able to prepare really well for my upcoming exams. God knows I need to do so.. :)

for my ultimate mistake: thanks for keeping your word. I can forgive but certainly I cannot forget what happened. Just keep your distance. The big bodies of water that currently separates us will do just fine. In short, wag ka munag uuwi at magpapakita ulit.

finals

2006-03-18T17:27:00.000-08:00

Secrets...............................

2006-03-11T21:02:00.000-08:00

Lihim
Orange And Lemons
Di na malilimutan pa
Sa bawat sandaling ako'y iyong hagkan
Ang iyong mga halik
Sana'y wag ng matapos pa
Aking nadarama sa tuwing kapiling ka
Ako'y nasasabik
Sayo lamang ilalaan ang isang
Ligayang walang hanggan
Kahit pa nagsasalo tayo
Sa isang kasalanan
Bihag tayo ng panahon
At pagkakataong puno ng pangambang
Ika'y mawalay pa
Di na mahalaga
Ang sasabihin nilaBasta't may pag-ibig
Sa 'ting dalawa
Sayo lamang ilalaan ang isang pagsuyong walang hanggan
Kahit na nagsasama tayo sa isang kasalanan, kasalanan

to the unplanned one

2006-03-11T07:42:00.000-08:00

dunno what to say. I was just hurt BIG TIME. Pepe is right, ang pagibig ay parang magnanakaw sa gabi. Bigla na lang nawawala. Pero ibang usapan na kung tatalon ulit ako kahit there is a big big chance (almost certain actually) that una na naman ulo ko. But then, I think I am choosing to make a mistake. I have made so much mistakes, okay lang siguro kung madagdagan pa. And I think it is going to be worth it. You are right, hindi ka kasama sa mga plano ko sa buhay...And I can make it, but I choose not to. Hope we can think things through. Let us just talk things over this summer. Kailangan tayo ng mga pangarap natin.
I don't know why everything just comes back, even after everything that has happened in our separate lives and after many sessions of talking about getting it right, eto pa rin tayo... It is as if there is an invisible thread that binds us together. So what is the point? actually it is pointless...please I don't want to be in the gray area. You know that.....Salamat na lang sa honesty, for listening and respecting what I am saying. I was trying hard not to cry because I don't want to complicate things further, parang I was just resisting the urge to hug you when I saw that you were on the verge of crying. I hope we were kids again, so that life would not be as complicated as this. And I mean everything I said in the last text message I sent to you.

for this guy

2006-03-05T03:46:00.000-08:00

Isa kang malaking bangungot. I only hope that I won't be bitter after what happened. I want you out of my system and out of my life. I don't even want to have you as a friend.

friendster profile

2006-02-16T19:42:00.000-08:00

regarding the stuff posted on my friendster profile, next time na lang ang chika.. basta just wish me luck..all I want to prove is di pagpapakatanga ang pagtalon ulit.. it is just a chance I have to take.. and sana this time ang bagsak ko una paa hindi ulo...pero if ever, atleast I tried. Promise will really give time and effort ngayon.. bihira na kasi ang blue marlin sa dagat...

bithday blues and quarter life crisis

2006-02-16T03:18:00.000-08:00

Salamat sa mga bumati sa birthday ko... For those who forgot to greet me or for those who forgot my birthday (period), okay lang. I won't take it against you...
I am already twenty-one. Old enough to do the things I have not yet done (right choy?)... Another year older, hopefully the age comes with strength and wisdom..

Pero super thanks pa rin sa mga tao who were there when I was having my quarter life crisis, kahit super bad timing kasi it was the middle of the midterms... Super thanks grabe... You know who you are guys, wansi, former orgmates, housemates, highschool friends, the ex of the ate of the ex, mga dakilang ex (lalo ka na aine, thanks for saying "solution? get laid!").. thanks for the time, patience, understanding, credits, gas and whatnots. Salamat. As in. I promise di ako bibitaw, basta please wag nyo din akong bitawan. Just help me na igapang ang sem..

wish list

2005-12-10T06:58:00.000-08:00

1. Peace of mind
2. Happiness for the people I love
3. For kids to feel loved.

:(

2005-12-07T04:06:00.000-08:00

minsan totoo..

GUILTY

2005-12-06T07:37:00.000-08:00

Aaminin ko na. I downloaded your picture... from your girlfriend's friendster page. Five minutes later, I discovered that friendster now allows its users to track if someone has downloaded their pic. Patay talaga tayo diyan. Well. If you won't ask me, I won't tell. Super cute mo kasi sa pic... parang hindi ikaw. Joke. It is immaterial if cute ka or hindi. Nung di ka nga cute (i.e around 17 years ago, when you were this chubby kid with really big eyes) I was there for you na. Sana lang matauhan ka na. Ups. I am not in the position to tell you that. Parehas lang naman tayo na may gusto ng chocnut kahit meron namang cadbury. Pero yung chocnut mo kasi nakainan na ng iba and tinapon na sa kalye. Pinulot mo pa.

procrastination

2005-12-03T23:34:00.000-08:00

I should be reading for consti.
I should be reading for consti.
I should be reading for consti.
I should be reading for consti.

But then I am not. Ang saya

weekend

2005-12-03T06:31:00.000-08:00

time to think of the so-called love life (or lack of it).
hmmm.
I don't want to pretend I am smart with regard to this matter. Isang malaking ?. Hopefully God will give what would be the best for both of us. Though I know I have received so much and I don't have the right to ask for more. Yun na.